Today is my mom’s birthday. She would have been 51 years old.
As a teenager, she had her own dark room in the basement where she played around with photography. All the black and white photos I have of her and our family were ones that she developed herself. This one is my favorite.
I wonder what her life might have been had she pursued this passion. I’m sure I’m biased, but I think she had some talent.
I ran ten miles today! Let me repeat – I got off my lazy ass and ran for ten consecutive miles today. And even more exciting was the fact that I want to.
From Friday night to Sunday morning, I got 26 hours of sleep. That’s more than a little bit. I wasn’t sick or recovering from a hard week of training. I just didn’t want to get out of bed and, so, sleeping seemed like the most logical thing to do.
It’s hard to talk about depression sometimes because it seems so lame. So ordinary. Something that affects bored housewives. Something that I should be, at the very least, adjusted to by now. I’m no stranger to it after all, and running has been my therapy for the last three years at least.
But recently, I felt myself backsliding. The running wasn’t enough for me to keep my head above water, so I sought professional help. I met up with my doctor and got a prescription for anti-depressants and a reference for a therapist. I’m no stranger to this either – having taken several different anti-depressants and having visited a few shrinks in my day. But that was all prior to finding my love of distance running, which seemed to be the cure for my blues.
It was distance running that gave me self-confidence. It was distance running that gave me a healthy view of food and weight. It was distance running (and running clubs, specifically) that helped me to meet so many wonderful friends without whom I’d surely feel lost.
I’m not going to bore you with the details. I know that depression is familiar to more of us than we’d like to admit, but what struck me as weird, and what compelled me to write about it right now, is this came out of nowhere. I haven’t had anything particularly bad happen lately. I am relatively happy with my friends, and my family, and my job. I just ran the marathon of my life (CIM - which I still plan to write about someday) and I finished that race feeling so hopeful for more great races to come.
I know that running and racing aren’t what life’s all about, but I have made it a large part of my life and I feel like my happiness depends on it. Just something quirky about me, I guess.
The other day, I posted to twitter and Facebook that “Several times I’ve been told by a shrink that I’m insightful. I think I’ll have a winner when I find one who tells me I’m full of shit.” Well, I had a FB friend respond “Let me tell you, you are full of shit. Now get out there and RUN!”
I loved that response. And I’m listening.
In keeping with my theme of extreme tardiness, I’m writing about the Richmond Marathon 4 weeks after I ran it.
November 10, 2012 I ran my third Richmond Marathon, and it was just as fantastic as the last two! Slower than my second one, faster than my first, and the hottest one by far even though I’m pretty sure the temperature didn’t exceed 65. I must’ve been having hot flashes or something because I was uncomfortable from the start and, by the end, I was near fainting. I double fisted at the water stops. Anyway, this marathon is special to me because Richmond is my old home. It’s where I learned to run. It’s where I made my first running friends — my new family away family. Going back to Richmond is more about reconnecting and having fun than it is about running a marathon. The running is just icing on the cake. :)
So, this race was 5 weeks after my Portland marathon (finish time 4:25). I trained for two weeks post-Portland and then tapered for three weeks. The knee that was bothering me behaved itself and I’d say that everything else went smoothly - I ran well, I drank moderately, and I ate a reasonable diet (I lost 9lbs between Portland and Richmond!). All signs pointed to a good marathon.
One thing that I do for all of my marathons (though I didn’t mention it in my post for Portland) is ask friends/family to sign up for miles that I dedicate to them. I started this with the idea that thinking about loved ones during my race would make the miles easier to bear. I also thought that it would help my friends feel involved, when often they can’t actually travel to races to root me on. So many people support, encourage, and inspire me and this is my way of acknowledging them.
Race Splits:
(That’s me - taken by my friend Anne around mile 15)
Here is a video clip of me at the finish line. (I’m in all black with a bandanna and sunglasses coming down the left side.)
My overall finish time was 4:16:28 — very close to my personal best (4:15:06) and nearly 10 minutes faster than Portland so I’m thrilled! Bart Yasso was at the finish line (which was so awesome!) and he gave me a huge congratulatory hug! I am most excited that I have wonderful friends nearby to celebrate the marathon victory.
This marathon holds such a special place in my heart. I hope that Jesse Peters’ pictures (all but one of the pics in this post) help to show the beauty of this course. Support is great. Spectators are great. And the running community of Richmond is the best one I’ve known.
To keep the streak alive, I registered for 2013 as soon as I got back to my hotel room. (smile)
It occurred to me that if there was anyone out there who follows my blog (doubtful) who doesn’t also follow me on twitter (highly doubtful), that person (because there’s surely not more than one) might think I went off to run the Portland Marathon and, being as ill-prepared as I was, keeled over before meeting the finish line never to be heard from again…what, with it being 6 weeks post-race and still no word of how it went. And that wouldn’t be an unreasonable assumption. Marathons are hard and Portland was no exception.
But, alas, I survived to run and write another day and I’m here to briefly describe the race and then move on because I’ve since run the Richmond Marathon and I need to write about that too.
So, here goes:
The race started at 7 a.m. and it was roughly 50 degrees. I stayed close to the start line so I didn’t have to worry about transportation or standing around outside for long. Still, I wore a long-sleeved tech shirt layer which I took off before the race even started. I struck up a conversation with a shivering woman, who happened to be from Charlottesville, Virginia, and I gave her my shirt. We chatted until “go” time.
Slow and steady with a walk break at mile 2. Not to ruin the suspense, but mile 4 was by far my fastest mile of the whole race — downhill and groovin’ to a new Cat Power song, I was in the zone. I also spotted a runner whose pace looked steady so I decided to stick with her. Since I take walk breaks, I like to find someone running close to my average pace so I can catch them when my break is over.
Part of this was out-and-back along an industrial section of town. I was expecting it to be dreadful, but it really wasn’t so bad. Off to my left I saw beautiful wooded hills that reminded me of home (West Virginia).
I’m feeling decent at this point. I took my first Gu at mile 13 and, for me, that’s when the marathon starts — right after the half marathon point. We ran through a residential portion and then a long straight away stretch that was kind of bare. Around Mile 15, I spotted the 4:15 pace group leader and had big ideas about keeping up…
…aaaand there goes that idea. (ha!) Mile 17 was a climb up to the St. Johns Bridge which was too steep for me to run and too long for me to walk so I was run/walking it and ended the mile with a horrible pace. Once I got to the bridge though, I felt great. I took off at a 9:30 pace and started passing people on the bridge until I came across a woman who was doubled over, hands on her knees, panting near the middle of the road (far left of the runners and near the on-coming traffic lane). I ran by her initially and then doubled back to ask if she was okay, to which she replied “no.” — got to be honest, I wasn’t expecting a no response — but then I knew I couldn’t leave. I asked her to explain what she was feeling and it sounded a lot like she was out of fuel: she was stiff, couldn’t move her legs, and she was panicking because she was scared. I managed to calm her down but couldn’t get her to move her legs, and we needed to get her over to the sidewalk so she could sit out of harm’s way — away from the traffic lane and the sea of runners approaching her. Eventually, another woman stopped, along with a guy whom we flagged down for help, and the three of us carried the runner to the sidewalk. In the meantime, other runners had gone ahead to notify the medics that help was needed on the bridge. I offered my Gu and my remaining Gatorade, but she declined. She said she would be fine waiting on the sidewalk, so there wasn’t much more for me to do.
After the hill and the help, I knew I wasn’t going to catch the 4:15 pacer and I’d long since lost sight of the runner I was targeting. But I still felt confident that I could finish in under 4:30 so I slowed a bit and tried to relax. I took my second Gu at mile 21. This is the part where I accept my fate and “enjoy the run.” :)
The last 1.5 miles of the course were great. (I felt like shit - but the course was great) We crossed the Broadway Bridge back into downtown and along waterfront. It seemed ridiculously hot but a review of the temperatures showed the high was hovering around 70 degrees (damn SF for my heat intolerance). The finish line was hidden around a corner so, by the time it revealed itself, with only a tenth of a mile left, it was easy to go all out.
My finish time was 4:25:45, for a 10:09 mile pace overall.
Really, I was pleased with the effort I put forth on race day, but still remorseful over a training cycle that didn’t go so well. I know that I could have done better if my training had stayed on track. And for that, I am cursing my knee.
I also know that I felt a bit of relief when I didn’t set a personal record: I crossed the finish line slower than the last time I ran a marathon and guess what? THE WORLD DIDN’T END! I WAS STILL ALIVE AND BREATHING! Was it anti-climatic? Sure! But it was still an accomplishment, and one of which I’m proud. To be honest, I’m getting too old for excitement…a PR these days might just send me into cardiac arrest.
I really think that running is in me. It’s in my spirit. It’s part of who I am. It makes me better; evens me out; takes the edge off. It’s why I’ve made so many wonderful friends and why I believe that people, despite bad days, are mostly decent and good. (yes, it took running to make me feel this way).
Tomorrow I am running my fourth marathon - Portland, Oregon. I’ve been so nervous all week because my training was derailed (knee pain) and my confidence never fully recovered. Can I PR? Can I at least break 4:30? 4:45? If I have to run slower than that, should I even go?
Well, that’s just stupid because of course I HAVE TO GO! Running marathons isn’t just about running fast; and the longer I continue to run them, the greater the odds I’m not breaking records each time. So what? Tomorrow, I have confidence that no matter the pace, my legs will know what to do. They will carry me forward even after my brain turns on them. Even after I begin cussing at all the people around me who aren’t sweating and look like they’re gliding by on wheels. (what? I said that running made me better, not flawless)
If you want to track my snail-like progress — my bib number :)
I’ve been feeling a little down lately - a little in my own head, blowing things out of proportion and worrying about stuff I can’t control. Not completely out of the ordinary. But when I’m not running much, or at least not running well, I don’t manage my stress (read: neurosis) well either. I decided tonight to hit the treadmill and try to find my stride, which I seem to have lost as a result of my knee problems the past few weeks…as soon as Sara B came on, I immediately relaxed and settled in for a good 8 miles. This girl is like home to me.
The title of this post might lead you to believe that I ran a lot of miles or something.
I’m not going to make excuses, it simply is what it is. Last week was supposed to be a 50-miler and I barely eeked out 38 due to skipping 4 on Thursday; turning my Saturday 20 into 18; and running just 4 miles of my 10 mile Sunday recovery. I’m less than impressed.
I’m also tired and achy and reluctant to admit that I may be injured. My left leg is just a total piece of shit right now — hip, IT band, foot (right between the heel and the arch, on the inside). But the worst of the pain, and the pain I can’t run through, is coming from my knee. When that starts up, I’m done.
I think I have a good handle on the cause and I have some ideas of what I can do to make it better, both in the short-term and more permanently, so I’m not looking for advice. Just venting. (unless, of course, you have amazing tips for disappearing the pain with very little effort and time…then, by all means, share!)
This week is a scheduled recovery week, and I’ve decided to take it off. Yep. Five days without running so far. I can feel myself becoming the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
This song keeps creeping into my pandora and, although I have no idea what the lyrics are yet, I love it. It just makes me feel good.
Last week was the first peak week of my training schedule for the Portland Marathon. My runs were supposed to go: rest-5-10-5-rest-20-10, for a total of 50 miles. That’s the highest mileage my schedule calls for and, ideally, I’ll do it three times.
So my actual week looked like: rest-5-10-5-rest-rest-20.
Not bad, in my opinion. I was traveling home from a beach vacation on Friday (all day friday) and on Saturday morning I had dead legs - they were swollen and heavy from the 8+ hours in flight. I also had a shitty night’s sleep. I got home at midnight and stayed up until 3 a.m. watching Breaking Bad and eating macaroni & cheese smothered in sriracha sauce. Not ideal preparation for 3.5 hours of running, so Saturday became another rest day and my 20 was moved to Sunday.
I’m okay with this. I know it threw off my total mileage, but I think I’m still in a good place with my training for the following reasons:
I'm an recreational runner.
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Yesterday, I ran and completed The Pittsburgh Marathon, the...
Visky Savage is chock full of incredible photographs.
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